In this episode, Katie and Angie delve into the value of messages (DMs, likes, comments). Speificially, the value we place on how quickly we respond to our messages and how quickly we receive responses. Many subtopics are explored, but most centre around the emotional response we all have (though we don’t like to admit it) when facing read receipts, group messages and those notorious typing bubbles.
Much of the discussion also considers interpersonal dynamics and texting and the role of expectation that we place onto ourselves and others in this digital world. Within this, they attempt to outline some ways in which we can healthily interact with others over messaging platforms whilst keeping one’s sense of self intact and being understanding of others’ needs also.
Disclaimer: The hosts are not licensed psychologists. This episode and show simply explore their viewpoints backed up by their own experiences and research where applicable. Resources for help are listed below.
Topics Covered in Episode:
[00:55] The definition of ‘bad friend’ and ‘messages’
[02:40] Notifications and mental fatigue
[04:04] 24/7 Access to our attention and others’
[06:25] Texting etiquette – “I’m busy” vs. not responding
[07:23] Should we expect people to always respond to us?
[08:04] Immediate gratification and social interaction
[09:30] Human need for reciprocal social engagement
[10:05] Research – Anticipatory reward effect and dopamine release
(when receiving a notification)
[12:05] Not responding as a means to avoid smartphone addiction
[13:25] Negative emotions and read receipts
[15:51] Interpersonal dynamics through texting
[16:45] Texting as a compatibility trait
[18:30] Differences between texting persona vs IRL persona
[20:00] Expectations between texter and receiver to foster better understanding
[22:00] Social identity, group rejection and messaging
[24:15] Final answer - Angie
[25:25] Final answer – Katie
[25:34] Compromise & boundary setting
[27:14] Read receipts and chronic overthinking
[28:01] Conclusion
Resources mentioned in this episode:
[10:05] Anticipatory reward effect
Resources for Help (UK only):
Mind Info Line – 03001233393 (Mon-Fri: 09:00-18:00)
Types of mental health problems; where to get help; medication and alternative treatment advice.
Samaritans – 116123 (24/7)
Helpline providing round-the-clock emotional support.
Crisis Text Line – Text ‘SHOUT’ to 85258
Support given for a range of urgent issues such as suicidal thoughts; self-harm; bullying; relationship difficulties.
CALM – 0800585858 (17:00-00:00: 365 days/year)
National helpline for men to discuss any emotional troubles they are facing.
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Thanks for listening!