Welcome to Re:Mind season 2! We are so excited to be back for a new season. This week we explore why we stay in relationships that don’t serve us. The year 2020 showed us the value of relationships. But what do we do when they’re just not working out?
We flesh out the idea of necessary and unnecessary relationships, throw in a dash of behavioural economics, and finish up exploring how we project the way we want to be treated.
There are so many new questions we are excited to explore with you and we hope you enjoy the show! Make sure you follow our podcast on your preferred platform. This really helps us know how many people are listening and informs what we create! Trust us, this is a relationship that's entirely necessary for you...
Disclaimer: The hosts are not licensed psychologists. This episode and show simply explore their viewpoints backed up by their own experiences and research where applicable. Resources for help are listed below.
Topics Discussed:
[00:55] - Word association
[01:50] - Define frenemy
[03:20] - Defining relationships that don’t serve you
[04:30] - What these relationships feel like
[07:15] - Effects on individual behaviour and perception
[08:50] - Sum average of your five people you interaction with most
[10:00] - Qualities that social interactions should provide
[11:00] - Necessary vs unnecessary relationships
[15:00] - Circumstantial relationships
[16:20] - Reasons for hanging on to relationships
[18:15] - Setting bars/baselines and recognising your behaviours
[19:45] - Social exchange theory
[22:00] - Physical and psychological indicators - extremes
[23:05] - Trait agreeableness
[24:00] - Loss aversion
[26:00] - Sunk-cost fallacy
[27:35] - Attachment
[29:00] - Summary
[31:45] - Teaching others how we want to be treated
[32:00] - Final thoughts & Conclusion
Research mentioned in the episode:
[08:50] - Average of the five people you spend the most time with
(Groth, A., (2012). You're The Average Of The Five People You Spend The Most Time With. [online] Business Insider. Available at: <tinyurl.com/3egs5szn> [Accessed 9 February 2021].)
[19:45] - Social exchange theory
(Emerson, R. M. (1976). Social Exchange Theory, Annual Review of Sociology, 2, 335-362)
[23:05] - Five factor model of personality
(Costa, P.T., McCrae, R.R. (1992). Revised NEO Personality Inventory (NEO-PI-R) and NEO Five-Factor Inventory (NEO-FFI) Professional Manual. Odessa, FL: Psychological Assessment Resources.)
[24:00] - Loss aversion
(Kahneman, D., & Tversky, A. (1990). Prospect theory: An analysis of decision under risk. In P. K. Moser (Ed.), Rationality in action: Contemporary approaches (p. 140–170). Cambridge University Press. (Reprinted from "Econometrica" 47 (1979), 263-91))
[26:00] - Sunk-cost fallacy
(Arkes, H. R., & Blumer, C. (1985). The psychology of sunk cost. Organizational Behavior and Human Decision Processes, 35(1), 124–140. https://doi.org/10.1016/0749-5978(85)90049-4)
Resources for Help (UK only):
Mind Info Line – 03001233393 (Mon-Fri: 09:00-18:00)
Types of mental health problems; where to get help; medication and alternative treatment advice.
Samaritans – 116123 (24/7)
Helpline providing round-the-clock emotional support.
Crisis Text Line – Text ‘SHOUT’ to 85258
Support given for a range of urgent issues such as suicidal thoughts; self-harm; bullying; relationship difficulties.
CALM – 0800585858 (17:00-00:00: 365 days/year)
National helpline for men to discuss any emotional troubles they are facing.
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